


Call it what you will. Fate. Destiny.

by Babsroe



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:39:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6409180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babsroe/pseuds/Babsroe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Guinevere were long over and when stuck between a rock and a hard place Arthur says the first thing that comes to his mind.<br/>"I'm marrying Merlin."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Call it what you will. Fate. Destiny.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters to Merlin(TV) and am not profiting from this work.  
> This is about to be the first full length fic I have attempted in a long time. Hopefully it is up to the standards of a lot of the fiction already out there.

The gates to the castle glittered gold under the bright glare of the sun. Beyond that there were people bumbling around, women in pastel blue and green dresses, aprons tied snug around their waists, while men in soft tunics lumbered heavy timber around the courtyard. The towering gates heaved open, a knight slumping under his shimmering chainmail cranking a giant wooden lever, around and around until the barrier into the kingdom was fully open.

Two other knights adorned in the same weighty chainmail, green capes fluttering behind them, came to King Arthur's aid, leading the horses to the vast stable. Stopping before the large doors, Arthur slung one leg over his horse, dropping to the ground with a muted thud. The two knights bowed to Arthur, one arm outstretched in a graceful gesture. 

When stood upright again, the knight to the left took the reigns to Arthur's horse, leading it through the open doors to a free stall. Turning, Arthur helped Merlin from his horse and handed the reigns wordlessly to the second knight, who nodded before following the first into the stable. 

The stable was large and looming. A giant presence in the sunny courtyard seeming slight against the enormity of the towering castle casting stretching shadows over the kingdom. Trailing down the street were stalls of all varieties selling flowers and spices of all sorts. The cackling laughter of a woman who could not control it carried through the air, echoing slightly through the crowded streets.

They heard rather than saw the shrill squeal of a woman shrieking Arthur's name from somewhere inside the castle, before two women rushed down the steps to greet him.

"M'ladies." Arthur said by way of greeting, brushing his lips against the back of their hands. Arthur gestured for Merlin, who was standing behind Arthur off to the side, to step forwards. "This is Merlin." Arthur informed them as Merlin copied his actions from seconds ago. 

Arthur turned to address Merlin. "Merlin, these are the Queens of Amata." 

"Welcome, Merlin. I am Ana and this," she said, motioning to the girl beside her, "is Elizabeth." She paused to look curiously between Merlin and Arthur, shaking her head as though to rid herself of the thought. "I'm sure you will find us as accommodating as Arthur does. Now, it is a very long journey from Camelot, you two must be starved." She signaled past Merlin to where Gwaine and Percival were loitering behind them, talking animatedly to the two guards who had met them at the gates. "Bring along your knights." She said. 

Ana turned with the practiced grace of a Queen, taking the stairs in a sure way, Elizabeth but not a few steps behind her. The way she walked, the way she talked, it screamed wealth and luxury and yet she still projected the care for her kingdom. Her eyes an invitingly soft, marbled shade of blue and her hair light and flowing blonde, glowing in the insistent shine of the sun.

Arthur nodded at her retreating figure, motioning for Gwaine and Percival to come forwards. Merlin watched as he talked to them in a low rumbling voice, flicking a hand to the building where the hulking doors slid closed with a huff of air and a dull thud. A woman walked past with a wooden wheelbarrow piled with apples, her eyes trained on Arthur as she went, an awed look stuck on her face. 

Arthur nodded to her, her amazed smile spreading into a huge grin as she blustered away, barely containing the squeal of excitement she so wanted to release.  

"Shall we?" Arthur said a moment later, taking the stairs in much the same way that Ana had done not so long ago. Merlin trailed him up the steps, crossing into the threshold. 

"King Arthur," A tall, spindly man greeted, "right this way."

Arthur, Merlin, Gwaine and Percival followed the man through a set of imposing doors that towered high above them all, into a colossal room, a stretched rectangular table the largest presence in the middle of the room. At the head of the table at the far end of the room, Ana and Elizabeth were seated, a server pouring wine into glinting silver goblets. 

"Your guests." The man said before turning and leaving the room, the doors swishing closed behind him. Arthur sat down first, next to Lady Ana, Merlin to his right. Gwaine across from him to Lady Elizabeth's left and Percival next to him.

"I heard of you and Guinevere's separation." Ana said casually, their servers taking away their empty plates. "Well Arthur, we don't accept sole monarchs-"

"This is the first I've heard of it-"

"Which is why we have found you somebody we feel would be suitable to rule beside you in Camelot."

Arthur sighed, clenching his fist on the table. "There really is no need for that-"

"There is, Arthur. Other than dear Guinevere, you've never had a good taste in companions. You see, there was-"

"Merlin." Arthur said suddenly, cutting through Ana's unbearable long list of Arthur's bad choices.

Merlin sighed heavily and heaved himself from his chair. "Yes, Sire." He grumbled.

Arthur rolled his eyes at him, gripping his arm to push him back into his seat. "Just sit- Merlin- sit down. I'm marrying Merlin. We're together. I don't need you to set me up."

Ana's eyes widened comically, as did everyone else's. Merlin's mouth was opening and shutting as though he wanted to protest, to say anything, but with Arthur's warning glare all he came out with was, "I thought we were keeping it a secret?"

Nodding to himself, Arthur turned back to Ana. "Yes, well, we can't have Ana here finding me a suitable spouse when you, Merlin, are sitting next to me."

Merlin shifted in his seat, straightening his posture consciously though he was trying not to make it obvious. A light pink flushed his cheeks as he squirmed under Ana's thoughtful stare. He pushed his empty goblet away from him, his hands linked on the table.

"Excellent." Ana said, her eyes glinting in the last fiery orange dregs of sunlight filtering through the window. Arthur huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, shooting a questioning look Ana's way.

"What is 'excellent'?" Arthur snapped.

Ana's mouth curled into a smile, teeth a brilliant white against her red lips. She glanced around the table, first to Elizabeth, then to each of them in turn. "You are here in Amata for three weeks, aren’t you, Arthur?" She asked. At Arthur's nod she continued. "Get married in two. Here."

"Ana, we would but..." Arthur paused, waving his hand in the air as he thought of an excuse, dropping it when he couldn't think of one. Ana smirked at him, bringing forward one of the servants standing at the back of the room.

"Fetch Alistair to the Throne room." She ordered, rising from the table as the servant scurried away. "Arthur, Merlin. If you would please follow me."

With a long suffering glare Arthur stood from the table, gesturing for Merlin to follow. Shooting an, _I'll explain later_ look to both Gwaine and Percival, he followed Ana and Elizabeth from the room.

***

The throne room was grand. Similar to Camelot's own with heavy Thrones anchored to the floor at the far end. The thick wooden doors swirled with gold groaned as it opened, the sound of Ana's heels clipping on the stone floor echoing through the empty room. The room was stiflingly warm, a large fire roaring to one side while an open window was allowing in the slight breeze of the evenings air.

The bustle of the kingdom meters from the castle waved in with the wind, the sound of crowing laughter and excited screams. Even one or two loud mentions of Arthur’s name. Arthur shared a look with Merlin before he reached out, taking Ana’s wrist, twirling her around gently.

“Really, Ana. This is not necessary.”

Ana sighed, light and airy, stepping away from Arthur to open the doors at the thudding knock. “Alistair!” She exclaimed as he stepped through the doors. “Darling, how are you?”

“Very well, my lady. You sent for me?”

Beaming, Ana turned to Arthur and Merlin, gesturing to them with an arm extended. “Yes. King Arthur, Prince Merlin, this is Alistair, our seamster.  Alistair, the King and Prince of Camelot.”

Alistair bowed to them both, one arm extended in front of him in a gentle wave. “Sirs.” He welcomed. Arthur nodded to him, glancing at Merlin who was marvelling at the small details the lined the wood panels of the room.

"You must have your wedding here, Arthur. It would mean a lot to me."

Resigned, Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes against the sunlight. He nods once, opening his eyes and taking Merlin by the crook of his arm. "Now, really Ana. Can the clothing wait? It was an awfully long ride and-"

"We have so much to discuss." She cut in. "Please, take a seat."

Two other plush green chairs had be set aside the thrones where Ana and Elizabeth took a seat, Arthur and Merlin following suit.

She sighed happily, turning to face Arthur and Merlin who were sat side by side. "Now," She started, "how did the two of you meet?"

Arthur looked to Merlin, a small smile playing on his lips. "He was my man servant." He replied.

"Really, Arthur. Again with the servants. It was the same with dear Guinevere. You couldn’t have come up with a more exciting story could you? Just to humour me."

Arthur's eyebrows drew together, his expression clouding over. "He saved my life." He argued, shaking his head in annoyance.

Ana made an appreciative noise, moving around on her throne to make herself more comfortable. "Now that's more like it." She turned to Merlin, looking him up and down. "And how did you do that."

Merlin startled at the attention, content on just listening to whatever Arthur had to say. "Um, well, um, you know Arthur, always getting into things." He answered, dismissive.

"More than once, I hear." Elizabeth spoke up. "You drank poison for him, yes? You have done a lot of things, I know."

Merlin nodded, a flush burning his cheeks under the attention as he looked at his hands.

"Marvellous." Ana commented, looking back to Arthur. "Now, what made you choose him?" She asked.

"Well," Arthur started.

"Not you Arthur, Merlin."

Merlin's eyes widened. He twisted his hands together. "Well, it's- he's- I've- I mean it just happened, right, Sire?"

"Very eloquent Merlin." Arthur said, but he agreed a moment later.

Ana looked at them thoughtfully, then to Alistair. "Would you like to talk clothing arrangements?"

Alistair nodded enthusiastically, moving to Arthur's side where he began showing swatches of different colours and materials, suggesting types and shapes and anything he could think of. Merlin sighed softly, watching Arthur's profile as he suggested which colours he liked and which he didn't.

He was sat like that for what felt like hours but was probably only minutes before Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Merlin." She said quietly, rising from her Throne. "Please, walk with me."

Merlin nodded, standing up and taking a step towards Elizabeth before Arthur grabbed his wrist, squeezing it between his fingers, tugging gently to spin him back around. "Where are you going?" 

"I-" Merlin started, stuttering to a stop the look on Arthur's face.

"He's coming with me, aren't you Merlin?" Elizabeth said, raising her eyebrows expectantly. Merlin nodded quickly, looking between Elizabeth and Arthur. Nodding, Arthur let go of Merlin and turned back to Alistair like nothing had happened.

When they were out of the Throne room, Ana's comment of "why not purple?" Blocked out by the thick doors, Elizabeth led them down a winding corridor and up one of the tower steps. The view from the top of the tower was amazing. A long, sprawling forest surrounding the kingdom filled with greens and yellows and oranges, made even brighter against the fiery orange set of the sun behind it. The crowds had dissipated into one or two people loitering around the courtyard and guards standing at the glittering gate and the doors to the castle. The slight breeze had turned into a steady wind, not picking up enough to become a gale, the air slightly hot and humid even with the late hour.

Elizabeth's soft "Merlin" startled him out of his daze looking over the scenery. He turned to face her instead. "About Arthur, does he..." She paused and turned to look out to the horizon. "It's beautiful isn't it?" She asked instead, stalling.

Merlin nodded enthusiastically, following her gaze to somewhere past the forest, to a hill where a lone twisted oak tree sat, its leaves turning orange due to the season. "Yes." He said finally. "Very."

It was a while before either of them spoke again and it was Elizabeth who broke the silence. "He doesn't hurt you, does he?" She asked quickly.

Merlin's eyes widened at the question and he turned to look at her in shock. "No." He replied, "no of course not."

"It was just the way, back in the Throne room. He doesn't like you leaving his side."

Merlin shrugged, watched a guard walk across the courtyard to his post and then faced Elizabeth once more. "I suppose he doesn't." He answered. "He's just... He must be protective, what after Morgana and his father."

Elizabeth nodded in understanding and spun to face the stairs. "Come. I want to know all about you."

***

"Why not purple?" Ana asked as the doors to the Throne room huffed closed. Shooting an insufferable look in her direction, Arthur sighed loudly.

"Alistair, Ana, really. I appreciate this, I do, but it's been a long day and I think I would appreciate this even more if I could-"

"Yes of course!" Ana exclaimed, "of course. Alistair, we shall resume this tomorrow. Arthur, you remember your way to the room, do you not?" At Arthur's nod she continued, "I've had a servant prepare the room for the two of you."

Arthur thanked them and exited the throne room, the towering doors sliding open to let him through, his footsteps echoing slightly through the empty corridors as he walked. He didn't know why he had told everybody that he and Merlin were together. Even worse, told them they were to marry. Although, he supposes he does know. While he married Guinevere, made her his queen, he never really truly loved her. A person once told him that love was stronger than anything. He was starting to believe that the strong bond was not with Gwen, but rather with Merlin.

Of course, announcing their wedding over dinner was not the way Arthur would have wanted to tell Merlin this information. If he is really honest with himself, he doesn’t think he ever would have told him. He still doesn't think he can, though it wouldn't be a far stretch if he were to admit his feelings anyway.

His chambers were set up as Ana had promised. For two. The large sprawling quilt adorned in Arthur's favourite red silk, the pillows plump at the head of the bed. Arthur groaned inwardly at the sight of the bed, so inviting in the fading light. Sighing, he rubbed calloused hands over his face, flopped backwards onto the bed to stare blankly at the plain ceiling.

Before his eyes drifted shut, Arthur couldn't help thinking that it looked out of place in the middle of a room swirled in gold.

When he woke the sky was black, only a few stars shining through the clouds that had rolled over with the wind. A fire burned in the fireplace at one side of the room, a few candles dotted around the room for extra light. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he looked around the room, eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

Merlin was sat at the table, head on the top snoring loudly. Rolling his eyes, he pushed himself from the bed and walked over to the table, sliding out a cushioned chair and sitting down. There was a goblet of water waiting for him at the centre of the table and the book Merlin must have been reading open and crushed under one of his arms.

Arthur nudged Merlin's arm, then again when he didn't wake up. "Merlin." He said. Still nothing. Sighing he stood up, coming to Merlin's side, sliding an arm around his chest to pull him into a sitting position, his head lolling to the side.

"Merlin." He whispered, tapping his cheek. When the only answer he received was a soft humming sound he groaned, hooking an arm under his legs and hauling him to the bed. Merlin's fingers curled into Arthur's soft tunic when he set him down on the bed, pulling the quilt over him.

"Love you." Merlin murmured softly, letting the fabric go to push himself further into the warmth of the bed. Arthur's heart stuttered as he pulled away, shaking his head while he sat down at the table. He took the goblet of water, swallowing it all on one go to get rid of the itch that had resided in the back of his throat.

He must have been sat there for ages, staring blankly at the swirling pattern that covered the goblet, the jewels glinting slightly off the last flickers of candlelight. The fire had dulled down into a faint glow, the final embers dying down until there was nothing, the chill from the night winding in through the window, rapidly cooling the room.

Merlin shifted in the bed, snuffling against the pillow quietly, tugging the quilt tighter around his shoulders. A small tap at the door brought Arthur back to the real world, his eyes focusing in on the goblet in front of him, then he turned towards the door. The person on the other side knocked again, Merlin groaned and turned away from the noise.

Arthur hurried to the door, opening it just as Elizabeth had raised her hand to knock again.

"Arthur." She said, nodding her head. She shifted slightly, looking into the room while trying to pretend that she wasn't. When she saw Merlin on the bed asleep she nodded to herself, then looked at Arthur.

"Is there something you want, Elizabeth?" He asked, stifling a yawn. She shook her head, no, smiling pleasantly at him.

"No, however, I would like us to talk. Not today, of course, but tomorrow."

Arthur nodded and watched as she turned the corner, dress swishing behind her.

"Arthur." Merlin said, startling him out of his daze. He closed the door and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the side opposite to Merlin, rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. He leaned down to take off his boots, placing them neatly at the bedside, folding his cloak over a chair before he slid under the blankets lied on his side, facing Merlin.

"Arthur." Merlin said again. Blinking his eyes open to look at Arthur. "Why did you tell them we were together?"

"Tomorrow." Arthur said, "I'll explain tomorrow." Because he didn't have an explanation. Not now, not one that he could tell Merlin.

Merlin nodded, his lips curled down into a small frown. "Okay." He said softly. "Go to sleep." He said a second later, closing his eyes again, snoring quietly seconds later.

"Yes, Sire." Arthur whispered, ghosting a hand over Merlin's cheek before he closed his eyes.

***

Arthur groaned at the sudden flash of daylight, turning away from it to hide his face in a pillow, the drawing of curtains rattling through the room.

"Rise and shine." Merlin said chirpily, refilling the empty goblet on the table and setting it next to a bowl of grapes that had appeared in the centre. He shined an apple on his soft blue shirt before taking a large bite out of it. "You know," He started conversationally, and Arthur didn't know how he could be so awake at this time in the morning, whatever this time was.

"Somebody brought me breakfast this morning. Another person brought _me_ breakfast. Can you believe that?" He chuckled, drawing out a chair and sitting down.

Arthur rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, squinting in the too bright sunlight. "Well you are a prince, you're going to be King, soon. Can’t have you getting your own breakfast, it would look off, all things considering."

Merlin hummed around a mouthful of apple, studying his nails. "About that." He said after he swallowed, "why did you tell everybody that we were together?"

Arthur opened his mouth to answer, snapping it shut a moment later. The truth was he had no answer. Not one that he could tell Merlin, nor Gwaine or Percival, or even Leon. The way Merlin was looking at him though, he expected an answer, something to work with, some way to understand the situation that Arthur had vaulted them into.

 _"This is how I've always wanted it to be."_ He doesn’t say. "I didn't want Ana to set me up with another person." He says instead, regretting it in the same instance at the hurt look flashing in Merlin's eyes, gone as quick as it came.

Merlin nodded, sliding out of the chair, heading towards the door. Arthur scrambled out of bed, legs tangling in the sheets. He took Merlin's elbow as he reached for the handle, spinning him around and pushing him against the wall, a hand on his shoulder to pin him in place.

Merlin's breath caught in his throat, his adams apple bobbing nervously.

"Where are you going?" Arthur growled.

"Um-I-I just-to find Elizabeth she, um, she said she wanted to talk to me." Merlin stuttered.

Arthur caught sight of somebody loitering outside of their chambers, their shadow visible under the crack at the bottom of the door.

"You're spending an awful lot of time with her aren't you?" He said sweetly, his voice light and airy as he brushed a strand of hair out of his face.

"I-"

"Oh Merlin, would you rather be with her than with me?" He asked.

Merlin shook his head, swallowing loudly. Arthur slid his hand from Merlin's shoulder to his throat, brushing his thumb up and down the length of it gently before pressing hard into his collarbone.

"Don't be long." He ordered, releasing Merlin and walking over to the table, praying the Merlin didn't see the tremble of his hands. Merlin's shoulders slumped and he blinked at Arthur's retreating form for a few seconds before pushing himself off the wall and through the door.

He startled when he saw Elizabeth standing there, a worried look painted on her face. "Are you okay?" She asked instantly, her voice quiet as not to be heard by Arthur. "I never meant to put you in harms way."

Merlin shook his head and took her arm, pulling her further down the corridor. "I'm fine, you really don't need to worry, please. As I told you yesterday, he doesn't hurt me." At her sceptical look he added, "I promise." Before following her down the corridor and out into the courtyard.

***

Arthur sat at the table in his chambers for what felt like ages, staring unseeingly out the window at the bustle of people in the courtyard. He saw people carrying buckets of water, people shopping, people laughing. He was only slightly aware of Elizabeth and Merlin crossing the courtyard to a building that Arthur recalls as Alistair’s seamsters.

He noticed his hands were shaking and balled them into fists tightly to try and stop them. He doesn't know why he did that to Merlin. He doesn't know what he was doing. Just acting on instinct, he told himself, though even he didn't believe it.

He can’t get the image out of his head. The way that Merlin looked as though he wanted it, wanted him to do so much more than that. The hurt that flashed across his face when Arthur had brushed him off as just _being_ there, as though he didn't actually _want_ him. Shaking his head, he drank the water from the goblet that Merlin had poured earlier that morning, the liquid warm from being left so long.

Arthur puffed out his cheeks, blowing out a breath slowly through his lips. A moment later he stood, grabbing his cloak from the chair he had folded it over the night before, slid on his boots and left the room.

Winding down the corridors that he knew so well from his childhood visits, past the Great hall and the Throne room, past the kitchen when he heard his name followed by quiet giggling, as though the person was trying to hold it in. He pressed himself against the wall as to not be caught eavesdropping.

"I don't understand it. He was with Guinevere, what happened?" One cook said.

"I think it's cute." Another said.

One of them hummed quietly, "well, I overheard that Arthur hurts him."

"Shut up Mary. The King does not hurt anybody who isn't deserving of it."

"Oh and how would you know? Do you know him personally?" The cook- Mary- retorted, slamming a pan down on the sideboard.

"The prince- what's his name?"

"Merlin."

"Merlin yes. Merlin would not let Arthur hurt him surely."

"Oh, so now you know the Prince as well do you? Nina, you haven’t a clue what you're talking about."

One cook huffed. "I still don't understand it. The man was with a woman and now he's suddenly marrying a man? Seems odd to me."

Arthur shook his head at the gossip and started back down the corridor. He didn't know where he was going until he had crossed the courtyard and was entering the tailors, a large painted sign above the door reading _Alistair Seamster._

Arthur pushed the door open, a bell jingling above him to alert Alistair of his arrival. Elizabeth, who was seated at the far end of the shop, turned to look who it was, shoulders slumping when she saw that it was Arthur. He nodded to Elizabeth and glanced around the shop.

"Where's Merlin?" He asked, Alistair popping his head out from behind the curtain a moment later.

"He's here, Sire. I am just about to fit his ceremonial cloak, Sire. And then we are moving on to chainmail."

Arthur nodded in understanding. Elizabeth looked at Arthur as she spoke. "I have had the blacksmith make you both a ceremonial sword, I hope you don't mind." Though she didn’t sound much like she cared whether he minded or not.

He nodded again, stepping towards the curtain that Merlin was behind. "Do you mind if I see?" Arthur asked, though the flimsy bit of cloth made into a curtain really didn't hide anything anyway.

"Well, my Lord, we wouldn't want any bad luck for the day would we-"

"I'm not a girl, Alistair. I don't have a dress on, I doubt that myth counts when it is a man in a cloak."

Alistair nodded to himself after an inner battle with himself, pulling back the curtain so that Arthur could go through. The space behind the curtain was bigger than Arthur expected. Almost an entire room filled with fabrics and cotton and varying sizes of chainmail. Merlin was in the far corner, twirling around and batting his eyelashes.

"What do you think?" He asked.

"Beautiful." Arthur sighed, eyes widening at the realisation of what he had said. He'd said it accidentally, though Merlin seemed to take it as Arthur playing the role he supposed he was meant to play. Colour rose to his cheeks anyway and he looked down to his feet.

He mumbled something that Arthur didn't quite catch. Faintly aware that both Elizabeth and Alistair were watching them, Arthur sucked in a sharp breath.

"What did I tell you about mumbling?" He snapped. Merlin's head shot up, eyes wide and trained on Arthur. He didn't answer. Arthur stepped the few paces to Merlin, noting the way Elizabeth moved in her seat. He grabbed Merlin's face, forcing him to look Arthur in the eye.

The faces were so close together that Arthur could feel Merlin's shaky breaths, fingers tightening when Merlin's eyes slipped closed. "Look at me." He ordered, Merlin's eyes flicked open. "What did I _say_ about mumbling?" He asked again.

"Don't do it." Merlin answered, jaw working under Arthur's fingers. Arthur hummed appraisingly, loosening his fingers.

"So don't."

Merlin nodded the best he could, a hand reaching up to wrap his fingers lightly around Arthur's wrist. A prompt for him to let go of Merlin's face, but not an order. Arthur complied, dropping his hand to his side, Merlin's fingers sliding from his wrist.

"I'm going to go and check on the swords. I want you back in our chambers in an hour."

Merlin nodded and watched Arthur's retreating form. He heard the jingle of the bell above the door, his shoulders relaxing, releasing a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. He was Elizabeth's expression, the way she was half off her chair and rolled his eyes.

"Oh for- No, Elizabeth." He exclaimed and that was the end of that. Her open mouth snapped shut and she pushed herself back on her chair, staring moodily at the opposite wall.

"Blimey, that was quite a show. Shall we get started with the chainmail?"

***

The small bell tinkled annoyingly overhead as he pushed out of the seamsters into the courtyard and he leaned against the wall for a moment to collect himself before he started on his way to the blacksmiths, rubbing a hand over his face.

His heart was racing, palms sweating as he wiped them on his trouser legs. He didn't know what he was doing. Why he was doing whatever he was doing. He knew that there was something he needed to do, and that was either to tell Ana and Elizabeth the truth, or tell Merlin.

Arthur told himself that telling Merlin the truth would be the best thing, not willing to be killed at Ana's hands if she ever found out, but deep down he knew that he couldn't face the rejection that he was sure would come from telling Merlin the truth.

He sighed shakily, his mind going a mile an hour with plans and contingency plans should plan A go wrong. He knew what he was doing. It was almost as if he were preparing for battle, with plans after plans after plans to keep his men safe. To keep them alive. And he knew that he didn't need to do this now. Not with this situation. Not with _Merlin_. They were getting _married_ in barely two weeks and Arthur knew he needed to grow up, to tell Merlin what he really wanted to. But he couldn't. No matter how many plans he formed in his head, he felt as though he could go through with none of them.

He didn't want to feel the rejection. He didn't want to see Merlin's pitying eyes as he said no. He didn't want to lose Merlin through his own stupid adoration.

So he would keep his mouth shut, no matter that he was already had plans A through to Z. He wouldn't say anything in the hopes that even after this marriage, Merlin would still stand by his side.

He was surprised to have reached the blacksmiths in the lower part of the village, too lost in his own thoughts to even so much as see the people dotted around, heads sticking out of house doors to see him walk past. He couldn't help but to feel bad that he didn't acknowledge any of them, making a note to talk to everybody he passed on the way back to the castle.

He rapped on the door before walking in, a bell clanging above his head, heavier and deeper than the one at the seamsters, the sound reverberating through the shop. A short stout man emerged from a back room, wiping his hands on a cloth, blackened by days of work.

"King Arthur." The man said. "It has been a while."

"It has." Arthur said, taking a seat in the corner of the room when the man gestured for him to do so. "How have you been, Palorin?"

"Well." Palorin answered, "Business is good." He continued, setting the cloth down on a wooden desk. "And you?"

Arthur nodded, "Good."

Palorin nodded, a noticeable thought coming to him, his eyes widening. "Of course, you’re here for the swords." He exclaimed.

"One is not quite finished. Yours." He said as he pulled a hefty sword from a leather case. "But this is Merlin's." He said, his eyes widening before he rushed, "the princes."

With a curt nod and a smile, Arthur took the sword carefully from Palorin's hands, inspecting it. The sword was a glimmering silver, the light of day shining through a window making it glitter. Up the middle of the sword there were swirls and patters in a frosted white, leaving a margin of polished silver all the way around the edges. The handle was gold, a thick, red ribbon wrapped around that. It almost hurt to look at it was so bright, shining in Arthur's eyes, but he couldn't look away.

It was breath taking. The edges sharp, the surface smooth and perfect. Arthur knew Palorin. Knew he was talented in what he did. But he had no idea that this sword, all of the delicate designs, could come from this mans hand.

"Wow." Arthur said after a long while, noting the way Palorin jittered to be reassured, even after all these years. Palorin visibly relaxed and he nodded to himself, as though to give himself a mental pat on the back. Arthur handed the sword back to him, where he placed it back into the leather case, clipping it shut.

"I do hope the prince likes it."

"He will." Arthur said instantly.

Palorin practically beamed, sitting himself down in a chair opposite Arthur's. "Now this wedding, my Lord. A bit unexpected, but not unwelcome." Palorin said. "There never was anything very strong between you and Guinevere."

Arthur furrowed his brow, opening his mouth to defend Gwen when Palorin cut him off quickly. "Of course, Lady Guinevere was a wonderful woman. But Merlin. The bond between the two of you seems stronger somehow."

Arthur hummed quietly in agreement, a thought niggling at the back of his mind. A wish that that could be true. He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. "I suppose." He said eventually, standing abruptly.

"How much for the sword, Palorin?" He asked with a curt smile.

Palorin shook his head, standing and waving a hand through the air. "For you, my Lord? Free." He assured, "please, take it."

Arthur nodded, taking the sleek leather box under his arm, unaffected by the weight of it. He headed to the door, waving a hand over his shoulder, hauling the door open with the same hand and stepped out into the warm sun, the metallic clang of the bell above the door muted by the door slotting back into place.

On his way back to the castle Arthur got held up by three men, interested in the code of Camelot and too interested in the details of Arthur's life. He helped one woman with an overflowing, woven basket, carrying the load to a small house, presented with one of the shiny green apples in thanks.

When he finally arrived back to his chambers, box still tucked safely under his arm, Merlin was nowhere to be seen. Arthur knew that the time limit Arthur had set for Merlin was in no way up. It had, at most, only been around half that time, but he found himself feeling slightly annoyed that Merlin was not waiting on him.

Arthur knew that what he was doing was unfair to Merlin. Unfair to himself. They were not together, not married, not yet. There was no reason for Arthur to treat Merlin as he would if those things were true. At least not in private. Out in the open Arthur could use the excuse that he was acting a cover that he had blurted out at the dinner table not a day ago. But behind closed doors? No. There was no excuse for that. No lie that he could rattle off in order to get Merlin off his back.

He knew that he should stop whatever he was doing, but he found himself not wanting to. Instead he found himself wanting to further this, to see what he could get away with without letting anything on to Merlin. To see how fat he could push Merlin before he said something. Because _that_ seemed more fun than to stop this. And the thought of stopping now just caused Arthur too much pain to thing about it.

The door bursting open startled Arthur out of his train of though. He had no idea how long he was standing there, staring at the leather box in his hands, only that time had gotten away from him.

Placing the box calmly on the bed, Arthur turned slowly, watching Merlin with half lidded eyes. He was jittery, eyes wide, Elizabeth in the doorway behind him, shooting daggers at Arthur over Merlin's shoulder.

Arthur exhaled slowly, mouth curling into an amused smile. "Good boy." He said, and watched as Merlin's shoulders visibly relaxed. Elizabeth's glare, though, did not cease.

Arthur turned around again, eyeing the box on the bed before taking a seat at the table, taking a grape from the fruit bowl and chewing on it thoughtfully. After a few minutes, Merlin still hadn't moved from where he had stopped just after the door, Elizabeth behind him, tugging on his shirt. He looked unsure of himself, and Arthur almost hated that he had done this, but told himself that Merlin was just playing his role.

"Well?" He said, his tone sharp. He didn't turn around.

"I-" Merlin started, stopping at Elizabeth's sharp tug and razor sharp 'Let's go!'

Arthur stood from his chair, annoyed at Elizabeth's constant nagging. He really had to ask Ana about why she was so against Arthur. He wondered what story Ana had told her that had turned her against him in the first place.

He turned to look at Merlin, watching the way he tensed up, swatted Elizabeth's hand away from his shirt and stepped forwards, words dying on his lips.

He crooked a finger, motioning for Merlin to step forward. Merlin obeyed, taking a few steps until he was within arms distance, ignoring Elizabeth's distressed sound. He fisted the front of Merlin's shirt, pulling him further forward until they were practically nose to nose.

"Did Alistair fit your chainmail?" He asked, smirking when the loose wisps of Merlin's hair fluttered as Arthur spoke.

Merlin nodded, eyes cast downwards. "Yes, Sire." He said, eyes flicking up to Arthur's quickly as he shifted on his feet. Arthur hummed, acknowledging before he looked over Merlin's shoulder to Elizabeth who was still standing at the door, one hand braced on the handle.

He smiled warmly at her, gesturing towards the table. "Would you like to stay?" He asked, knowing that she would reject the offer. Probably to go and complain to Ana about him, which he knew she did.

She shook her head, taking a step away from the door. "You will join us for dinner, won't you?" She asked, though she aimed the question more to Merlin than to Arthur. Merlin looked to Arthur, leaving it to him to answer.

"Of course." He said, shooting her a warm smile. That smile stayed, even when she released her hold on the door and the clipping of her heels could be heard down the corridor. It stayed until Merlin took a large step back, glancing without actually acknowledging the box on the bed.

A rush of cold air made Arthur shiver.

"Okay." Merlin said, swallowing loudly. "What was that?"

Arthur shot a confused look Merlin's way, though he knew exactly what Merlin was talking about. Merlin huffed a loud sigh and rolled his eyes, turning away from Arthur.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Merlin snapped. "This, everything. Since yesterday you-you've been different."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Arthur said, shrugging off the glare Merlin shot him over his shoulder.

"You do! You know exactly what I'm talking about. The looks, the- the- you're not the same!"

Arthur furrowed his brow, doing his best to hold in his laughter. "How do you mean?"

"Stop laughing at me, Arthur. It was yesterday that you decided we were getting married, and all you've done since then is just... I know you're playing a role but-but you do it when no one can see and it's- it's really damn confusing."

He groaned in frustration, running a hand through his hair, clumps sticking up in different directions wildly. "I just need you to-" He started, seeming to think better of it, shaking his head and snapping his mouth shut. "What is that?" He asked instead, running his fingers along the leather case.

Arthur opened the clasps, flipping the lid open to show the glimmering sword inside. Merlin's breath caught in his throat, tracing a finger around the intricate patterns swirling down the middle.

"It's yours." Arthur said, taking in Merlin's profile, heart fluttering in his chest.

Merlin turned to look at him wide eyed. "Mine?" He breathed, as though he didn't believe that it was really his.

Arthur nodded, smiling softly. "It's your ceremonial sword, Merlin. Palorin, a close friend of mine, he made it for you."

A knock at the door startled them out of the awed silence, Ana's head bobbing through a moment later. "Dinner." She said, smiling widely.

"Ana." Arthur said just before she slid back out of the room. "I need to talk to you."

Ana nodded, closing the door behind her as she left to wait in the corridor. Arthur watched Merlin close the case carefully before walking out of the room with a loud, "Get ready for dinner." Followed by the thudding shut of the door.

Merlin stared at the door for a long time, eyes wide and an uncertainty coursing through him. When he realised that Arthur wasn't going to come back, he turned towards the leather case on the bed, a small smile tugging on his lips.

Arthur's order to get ready for dinner rang through his mind accompanied by the growl of his stomach. Merlin grabbed a change of clothes, moving to get changed behind the screen to get changed, tugging his soft purple shirt over his head, wrapping the bright red neckerchief securely around his neck. He stepped out again, giving one last sweep of the room before walking out the door.

In the corridor, Ana and Arthur were stood having a hushed conversation. They were basically whisper shouting. Angry but without wanting to be heard.

"-believe you're not hurting him!" Ana whisper shouted at Arthur, immediately stopping when she saw Merlin had emerged from the chambers. He flattened his hair and gave them a bashful smile, looking to Arthur with faux nervousness.

"Merlin." Ana said gently, shooting a glare Arthur's way. Everyone seemed to be doing that recently. Arthur glared back.

"Dinner." Merlin said dumbly, shifting under Arthur's intense state. "I mean, Arthur said to get ready for dinner." He shifted his gaze from Arthur to himself, looking down at what he was wearing. "I'm ready."

Arthur rolled his eyes, shaking his head fondly. He stepped closer, reaching out to brush a strand of Merlin's hair out of his face, hand sliding down to rest where his neck met his shoulder, brushing his thumb against the side of Merlin's neck.

Ana watched carefully, heaving a sigh and finally saying, "of course, right this way", expecting them to follow as she took off down the corridor. Arthur gave Merlin a look full of meaning. A meaning that Merlin couldn't fathom. Merlin knew all of Arthur's facial expressions. He knew when he was angry, by the way a muscle in his jaw would jump. He knew when he was happy, with the way his eyes shone and his lips quirked. He knew all of them, every single one. But not this one.

The way Arthur was looking at him. It was weird. Different. Merlin didn’t know whether the shiver that ran down his spine was good or bad.

They took the same seats they had taken the previous day, Percival and Gwaine the only things missing from the setting. They ate in silence for the most part, eyes cast downwards for a chunk of the meal.

When the second lots of plates had been taken away and the drinks had been refilled Ana spoke. "Arthur, Merlin." She addressed. Arthur acknowledged with a hard, steely glare, tensing as though he knew what she was about to say. Merlin smiled and nodded.

"There are a few things that we wish to- well, no, we need to discuss." She said, continuing after a brief sip of her drink. "Elizabeth has brought it to my attention that something may be happening between the two of you that is not quite pleasant."

Merlin's brows furrowed for a moment, confused before he caught on, his eyes widening as he shot a look to Elizabeth.

"Like what." Arthur grit out, a muscle jumping in his jaw. "And before you say what I think you're going to say, you are wrong. As are you Elizabeth, and I think it is quite absurd that you should think so lowly of me, both of you."

Elizabeth flushed red, almost looking ashamed if it wasn’t for the hard set of her features. Ana did look ashamed, though, her eyes cast down to look at her fidgeting hands.

"You hurt him, don't you?" Elizabeth snapped, followed by a sharp chorus of "Elizabeth!" From both Merlin and Ana.

"I don't." Arthur said, his voice thundering through the hall.

"Prove it." Elizabeth shot back.

Silence overtook the table, Ana staring at Merlin, Arthur staring at Elizabeth, Elizabeth staring at Arthur and Merlin staring at resolutely to the table, none saying anything. None breathing.

Arthur broke the silence this time, breaking his glare to turn soft, almost apologetic eyes to Merlin. "Get up." He said quietly. Merlin blinked at him and stayed where he was.

"Get up." Arthur snapped when Merlin didn't obey, and hesitantly, Merlin rose from his chair. As did Arthur. He sidestepped out from in front of his seat, moving to stand next to Merlin, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt first to show there was no harm done.

"That does not prove anything." Elizabeth insisted. So Arthur yanked his shirt up his torso instead, showing the smooth expanse of Merlin's body. Merlin's face seared with heat and he closed his eyes against it, willing it to go away before anyone realised.

There was a small white scar near Merlin’s hipbone from where he and his childhood friend Will fought one day. Will had cut right through his skin with the sharp end of a stick from the old oak tree in near to his mother’s house.

There was a birthmark on Merlin’s right side. Just a small, thin line that was a little darker than the flush crawling down his chest.

Merlin whined when Arthur didn’t let his shirt fall, the material still bunched in his fist tightly. "Arthur." He whispered, tugging at Arthur's sleeve. An unsuccessful attempt at breaking the glare between Elizabeth and Arthur.

Slapping her hands on the table, Ana rose from her seat, the sound echoing through the room. Elizabeth and Arthur broke eye contact, looking from Ana to Merlin. Arthur dropped Merlin's shirt, opening his mouth as though to say something, shutting it a second later.

Merlin backed away from the table, willing his hands to stop shaking. "I'll just- Excuse me." He stuttered, practically running to the door, pushing out of the room before anyone could say anything to stop him.

Ana's eyes were blazing as she glared at Arthur. After a moment she turned to Elizabeth. "You." She said. "A word."

When she turned back to Arthur, he was already moving towards the door. "I need to-"

"Go." She said, taking Elizabeth's arm and dragging her towards a side door, hidden by a long embroidered tapestry.

Arthur went, bolting through the door and down the winding corridors. He burst into their chambers, an apology on his lips, only to realise that Merlin wasn't in there.

"Where are you?" He said to the empty room. Then suddenly he knew. The tower. Turning, he slammed open the doors to the chambers, running in the direction of the tower.

Arthur used to come to the tower when he was younger. During the visits with his father and Morgana, he would sit at the top, looking out over the kingdoms beautiful backdrop. He remembers thinking, that one day he would have a kingdom of his own to look out over. He isn’t so sure that it is all it was made up to be, though he doesn't think he would trade it for anything.

The tower was tall with winding steps leading the way to the large room at the top. It had no furnishings, the ledge at the wide window just enough to sit on. He knew Merlin would be here, if not because it was always Arthur's favourite place to get away from his family, but because he heard the echo of a cough coming from the top.

He dragged himself the last few steps, wondering how he ever had the energy to climb all of these when he was a child.

"Merlin." He gasped, pulling himself up the last step. Merlin was there, back to the stairs, legs dangling over the window ledge.

"You found me." He deadpanned, not bothering to turn around.

Arthur huffed a sigh, trying to catch his breath as he took a seat next to Merlin on the window ledge. "I'm sorry." He said after a stretch of silence. Merlin nodded, but he said nothing. "Merlin. I never meant to-"

"I know." He sighed, turning around so that he could stand on the floor next to the window, sliding off the ledge awkwardly, knee bumping against Arthur's thigh. "I know." He repeated.

Arthur pushed himself off the ledge to stand in front of Merlin, his hand ghosting over Merlin's shoulder yet not quite touching it. "You're angry." Arthur stated, his voice quiet.

Merlin nodded, eyes cast to the floor. "Not at you, Sire." He assured, glancing up to meet Arthur's eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said again, clamping his hand on Merlin's shoulder and pulling him into a hug. Merlin tensed, arms by his side for an awkward moment, finally wrapping around Arthur's middle.

***

"I cannot _believe_ you did that." Ana chastised.

"Did what."

Ana growled. Arthur had ran after Merlin when he had excused himself leaving Ana and Elizabeth alone. "Did you see his face?" She snapped. "Something tells me that he didn't want you to bring that up and you did it anyway. Elizabeth. For the last time. Arthur does not hurt Merlin."

"You don't know that." Elizabeth argued, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I know full well that he doesn't. And so do you. For one you should have taken Merlin's word for it. For two, you should believe him now that you just _humiliated_ him."

" _Arthur_ humiliated him."

"Arthur did what he had to, to prove you wrong." Ana snapped, "What on earth is your problem with him anyway. I know you haven’t known him as long as I have, but there is no need to treat him as such. He is our guest, he is _my_ friend. This is not like you at all."

Elizabeth sighed, her shoulder slumping in defeat. "I have seen this before." She said, and at Ana's confused look she continued. "A friend of mine, he was with a man of Arthur's sorts. I shall spare you the details, but he did not make it out. Not alive. I do not want the same for Merlin."

Ana paused, her mouth opening and shutting with words had not come up with yet. "I had no idea." She said finally.

Elizabeth shook her head, waving a hand in the air in dismissal.

"Elizabeth." Ana started, "I love you. Please, trust me when I say this. Arthur has never and will never hurt Merlin."

Elizabeth hesitated, nodding finally. They were both silent for a while, Ana's hand a reassuring pressure on Elizabeth's arm.

"I need to find Merlin." She said, making to move out of the room. Ana stopped her, shaking her head.

"Leave them." Ana said softly, "they should be alone. Let them figure this out."

Elizabeth nodded, guilt flashing across her face. "I should apologise." She said, more to herself than to Ana. "To Arthur."

***

Night fell quickly, the sun setting in bright oranges and yellows and pinks, coving the kingdom in a pale glow, the sky rapidly darkening.

The remaining light shone through the window, casting shadows through the room. There was no fire lit and only one candle burning in the middle of the table. Arthur and Merlin were sat at the table, neither of them speaking a word.

The silence dragged, though it was not awkward, interrupted by a quiet knock at the door. Merlin looked to Arthur who stood to answer it. Before he got to the door, Elizabeth pushed it open, stepping through, blinking against the lack of light in the room.

"I need to talk to you." She said, eyes locked on Arthur. She gestured to the door, waiting for him to lead the way out.

"No." Merlin said and both Elizabeth and Arthur turned to him. "Whatever you are going to say, you say in front of me."

Elizabeth nodded, hesitating. "Arthur, I apologise for what I said about you. I should have taken your word for it. Merlin, I apologise for what happened, I never meant to hurt you." She said, sighing heavily. "I would like to talk more. Tomorrow, Arthur. Goodnight, My Lords." She said, slipping out of the room before anyone could say anything to her.

Arthur groaned, rubbing his hands over his face roughly. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "For dragging you into this. I shouldn't have."

"Arthur-"

"This is not the way I wanted to tell you." He said. Arthur sat on the edge of the bed, running both hands through his hair.

"Tell me what?" Merlin asked, stepping away from the table to sit next to Arthur on the bed. He knocked their knees together gently.

Arthur opened his mouth to answer. He shut it a moment later, glancing at Merlin out of the corner of his eye. Merlin was watching him. Waiting for an answer that Arthur just wasn't willing to give. Not yet. He may have slipped up, but he would not give himself away. He couldn’t. The way Merlin was looking at him, how close they were on the bed. If he started, Arthur didn’t think he would be able to stop. He wanted to tell him. To tell Merlin that since the day they met Arthur has wanted this, what they have now, however fake it may be. From the day Merlin started flapping his mouth at the prince of Camelot he had been gone for him. He wouldn’t, _couldn’t_. Not his early in the game.

And of course, Arthur knew that this was not a game. This was his life. It was Merlin's life. He could not play with Merlin's life, he knew that. But he was not prepared to see the disgust on Merlin's face. Not ready to feel the rejection. He didn’t want to see Merlin trying his best to avoid him. He didn’t want Merlin to distance himself, now, when he needed him the most.

He shook his head instead of answering, hoping that Merlin would understand that he couldn't tell him. Not yet anyway. He swore to himself he would, one day, tell Merlin how he felt. He just hoped it wasn't too late. He had prayed that Merlin would not push for an answer, though there was never a time when Merlin did what Arthur wanted him to.

They were to marry in two weeks, Merlin said as much, pushing Arthur jovially, trying to get the answer out of him. Arthur just shook his head again, mouth curled into a frown.

Merlin was right. They _were_ to be married in two weeks. And if this was to go forth like Arthur intended it to, there would be a lot of things that Arthur would need to tell Merlin. But the closer the wedding got, the worse Arthur felt. He would be taking Merlin's life away from him. Married to the King, no chance of finding somebody he would actually love. Not for a long time. Arthur sighed sadly. He turned to Merlin. He put his hand on Merlin's arm.

"Merlin." He said. Merlin nodded. "Merlin, you do not have to do this." Arthur said. _It is not the way I intended it to be._

It was Merlin's turn to shake his head. "I do not understand."

"This. The marriage. You do not have to agree to this." Arthur urged. "I don't want you to be stuck with me, for however long until we can find a suitable time to undo this. I need you to be happy Merlin."

Merlin blinked at him. His mouth open, ready to speak. "I-" He stopped. Rethinking what he was going to say. "I will be." He said, finally.

Arthur's shoulders slumped. His hand slid off of Merlin's arm and onto the soft silk comforter. He nodded to himself, nodded to Merlin. _Please don't change your mind_ he thought. "If you change your mind." He prompted.

"I won't." Merlin said firmly. Too quickly.

Arthur could not miss the disappointed glint in his eye. The way he only held eye contact for a mere second until he cast his eyes down, to the side, to the window, the table, the ceiling. Anywhere but Arthur.

Maybe Merlin knew what Arthur had been about to admit. Maybe he'd wanted Arthur to admit it. Arthur shook his head again. No. He couldn't have. And Arthur could not expect him to. So the reason for Merlin's disappointment baffled him, but before he could ask, Merlin was sliding under the covers, pawing at the pillow at his head, snuggling down into the warm bed.

Arthur blinked at him, a fond smile tugging on his lips as he watched him.

He could do this. He could marry Merlin. He could marry Merlin and keep a totally platonic relationship between them. Though that thought went straight to hell when Merlin stretched, the comforter pooling around his waist, his arched back popping in several different places. That thought went to hell along with the thought of all the things he could do for Merlin. The things that he could do so that Merlin’s back would not crack like that anymore. The things he could do for Merlin to make sure that he was the happiest he could be. Arthur could not bear the weeks when he hardly saw Merlin smile.

He sighed and moved to slide in beside Merlin, staying towards the edge of the bed in a feeble attempt at putting space between them. And though he knew how bad this could turn out, how Ana and Elizabeth could find out about their fake relationship at any moment, he felt a shiver of excitement run down his spine.

He would be with Merlin. Whether it was through a marriage that neither had planned on or whether it was by Merlin carrying on his service as Arthur’s man servant. He would be with him until the very last moments. Call it what you will. Fate. _Destiny._


	2. A dragons truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters to Merlin(TV) and am not profiting from this work.  
> I'm also sorry that this took so long and that it's quite short.  
> I had exams and you know how it is, but I'm done now and here's the second chapter.

Merlin rose with the sun, the pale light of the early morning glowing in through the window at the far end of the room. He blinked against it, tugging at his arm gently where is was trapped under Arthur’s full weight. He considered waking him, if not just so he could get some feeling back in his arm, but he found that he couldn’t.

Arthur looked at peace like this. Nothing bearing on his shoulders, no frown lines marring his forehead. Just peace that he could not find when he was awake. Sometimes, on the rare occasion where other people, other kingdoms were not threatening the life of Camelot, the life of Arthur himself, this peace would show itself.

It was a happiness that was too few and far between now that Arthur had become King than it used to be, when he was a mere prince. A man who had a lot to bare, but not too much that it pushed him to his knees under the weight. The weight of owning a kingdom of his own.

Arthur had confided in him once, late at night when he was studying maps by candle light, that when he watched his father rule, it had never occurred to him that it would be so difficult. _“I love it”_ He had said. _“Though I do miss my old life. When my father ruled, life was so much easier.”_

Merlin shook his head. Ridding himself of the thought. Of how Arthur had sounded so lost, for just a minute, before he snapped back into Arthur again.

Merlin watched him. His hair fanned out over his pillow in a golden halo glinting off the sunlight glimmering in through the window. The brilliant red of the silk a stark contrast against Arthur’s pale skin. His lips a deep red, bitten raw with worry and stress.

He sighed. He closed his eyes, willing his thoughts to slow down so that he could think.

It had been a mad rush since the day they had arrived in Amata and Merlin had hardly had any time to blink during the few days of their stay. Now though, in the quiet early morning, the only disrupting sound the sound of a few early risers setting up their stalls in the square, he finally had a chance to think.

He wished that Arthur would share with him what he had been carrying on his shoulders for so long, baring down especially hard since Arthur had announced the much unexpected wedding plans.

The wedding. Whenever Merlin attempted to ask Arthur about it, he would brush it off. Trying to get anything of Arthur on a normal day usually left him with more questions than answers and in this case, it left Merlin with a lot.

One of the main questions he had wanted to ask was _why me_ but of course the answer to that was obvious. Arthur and Merlin were always together. What with Merlin being Arthur’s man servant and all. Now though they would be together for a different reason. One that Arthur had pulled out of thin air over dinner and had yet to explain.

And Elizabeth had apologised. Elizabeth did not trust Arthur as far as she could throw him. Though Merlin constantly tried to tell her otherwise, it was pointless to try. This brought Merlin to the reason of why Elizabeth did not trust Arthur.

The way he had been acting towards Merlin since the sudden marriage outburst had been odd and although Merlin constantly tried to bring it up, to find out the _real_ reason for Arthur’s major attitude change, Arthur would, once again, brush it off, leaving him with questions and no answers.

Honestly, he wonders why he bothers with that man at all sometimes, though he knows exactly why.

It’s not even as though Merlin doesn’t like the way Arthur has been treating him. Through the thinly veiled attempt at distancing himself from Merlin _though he didn’t know why_ Arthur had become fonder, almost closer to Merlin than he had ever been.

Arthur snuffled against the pillow, rubbing his face onto the soft silk, effectively breaking Merlin from his deep thoughts. Arthur shifted slightly, the movement twisting Merlin’s arm a way that one’s arm should never be twisted. Merlin yelped.

Arthur startled awake, rolling out of the bed and grabbing his sword in one efficient movement. When he saw no enemy, no attacker, his shoulders relaxed and the arm holding the sword fell to his side.

“Merlin?” Arthur said expectantly, brow furrowing at the sight of Merlin holding his arm protectively against his body. He replaced the sword and extended his hand.

Merlin blinked at him stupidly for a moment, looking down to his arm and back up to Arthur.

“Give me your arm.” He demanded quietly.

“You’ve already got two of your own.” Merlin grumbled, thought he lifted his arm for Arthur to see. Arthur took it in a hold that was gentler than Merlin had expected, wincing when Arthur bent his hand backwards, hissing through his teeth at the sharp pain.

“What happened?” Arthur asked, soothing Merlin’s wrists with cool fingers.

“I, um, it was you.” Merlin said sheepishly. Arthur looked from Merlin to his wrist and back again.

He hummed quietly. “I did this?” He questioned, his mouth turning down into a frown. Merlin nodded.

“You were lied on it and when you moved it sort of-” Merlin made a gesture with his other hand, twisting it around in the air exaggeratedly.

“Does it hurt when I do this?” Arthur asked, tilting Merlin’s hand forwards and backwards a couple of times. Merlin nodded again, reflexively trying to pull his arm back. Arthur tightened his grip, loosening it a moment later. “You’re going to need that wrapped up.” He said, his tone soft. Merlin thought he saw regret flash across Arthur’s features.

“Elizabeth will think-”

 “I know.” Arthur said, eyes flicking to the floor in thought. He looked Merlin in the eyes, his lips tugging into a gentle smile. “Let her think.” He said. “Come, I will wrap it for you.”

Merlin let Arthur pull him off the bed. “Really, there is no need for this, Sire.” He tried, but Arthur ignored him as he tugged him out of the door and to the court physician.

He ordered the physician, Thomas, to get him a bandage. The man returned a few moments later with a soft, white cloth that Arthur thanked him for, before leading Merlin to sit on a hard oak table to he could wrap it tight around his arm.

Thomas left the room when Arthur stepped between Merlin’s legs, wrapping the bandage around Merlin’s arm until it was a sturdy cast.

Arthur looked up from his work to Merlin’s pale blue eyes looking back at him. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out and he shut it again a moment later.

Since they had arrived in Amata and Arthur had sworn that he and Merlin were to be betrothed Arthur has had a lot of these moments. Moments in which he wishes to say something, _anything_ to fill the silence, but he has not been able to piece together and entire sentence. Not to Merlin.

Not with the three dreaded words on the tip of his tongue.

Arthur huffed a breath, ruffling Merlin’s fringe. “Too tight?” He asked. Merlin shook his head. Arthur nodded, brushing his thumb across Merlin’s knuckles.

Thomas chose that moment to bustle back in. Unsurprisingly, Elizabeth was in tow, Ana following closely behind her.

“Sire, Elizabeth and Ana are here to see you. I said you wanted privacy but-”

 Arthur gestured for Thomas to stop talking, waving a hand in the air between them. Thomas’ mouth snapped shut and his cheeks coloured a vibrant red as he moved off to the side.

“What did I tell you?!” She exclaimed, glancing from Ana to Arthur and back again.

Merlin grunted as he slid off the table, landing gracelessly on the floor, leaning into Arthur to steady himself. Arthur rolled his eyes fondly. “For the love of all the God’s Elizabeth. Please, would you calm down about this?” He said. Arthur snorted.

“I…” Elizabeth trailed off. She blinked at Merlin.

Merlin lifted up his arm, waving it in the air. “This was me. Well it _was_ Arthur but not in the way you think.”

“Elizabeth, really. You dragged me here for this.” Ana shook her head. “Arthur. There is a messenger for you in the great hall.”

Arthur and Merlin shared a confused look and Ana shrugged. “They wouldn’t tell me what it was about, no matter how much I bribed them with.”

Arthur smirked and turned to Merlin. “Come on.” He said, taking the elbow of Merlin’s free arm. He pulled him towards the door, ignoring Elizabeth’s unhappy scowl. Merlin followed happily, smiling at Elizabeth, oblivious to her mood.

***

The doors to the great hall squeaked when they opened. The light from the windows shined in reflecting off the gold laced through the rooms design, on the décor, on everything. Arthur thought he should probably give Ana some interior design advice that wasn’t gold. It almost blinded him.

“Sire!”

“You have a message?” Arthur asked, his hand still gripping Merlin’s arm.

“Sire. A messenger was sent out to inform us of the wedding between you and Merlin in eleven days.” The messenger said, nodding between the two of them

Arthur noticed how Merlin tensed slightly and tried not to feel hurt by it. “Yes?” He prompted, willing the boy to get to the point.

“The knights were wondering if their presence would be needed.” He said. “And Sir Gwaine told me to ask whether you would want him to do a speech during the wedding, or in the celebratory party afterwards.”

Merlin huffed a laugh beside him. “The knights will be expected to attend.” Arthur said, “And please inform Sir Gwaine that his speech will not be needed in any part of the day.”

The messenger nodded, but he didn’t leave. “Is there anything else?” Arthur asked.

“Um, yes Sire.” The messenger admitted sheepishly, his eyes studying the floor.

“Well? Out with it.”

The messenger coughed, clearing his throat. “They are already here.”

As if on cue all of the knights burst into the room. Gwaine was front and center, sweeping in with his sword brandished in front of him shouting “Do not worry fair maiden, I shall save you!”

“My hero.” Merlin deadpanned, rolling his eyes. Percival pulled him back by the collar of his shirt. Leon was the last to enter, closing the door quietly behind them. He wasn’t joining in on the rabble, choosing instead to stay at the back hardly cracking a smile at Gwaine’s loud jokes and out of tune singing.

Arthur dropped his hand from Merlin’s arm muttering a quiet, “stay here” before giving the crowd a wide berth so he could get to Leon un-mauled by the knights.

“Leon.” Arthur said as he approached. The sound of his name knocked Leon from his day dream staring off into the distance.

“Sire.” He acknowledged, flicking his eyes to Arthur and back to watching the crowd. Gwaine had Merlin in a headlock, ruffling his hair until it was wild and messy, and a huge smile taking up his face. He released him a second later with a loud, “who knew you would marry that prat!”

“Leon, is something wrong?”                                                                                                                        

“No Sire.” He said, though Arthur wasn’t convinced. Leon didn’t take his eyes off the crowd.

Arthur sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. “Leon. I have known you my whole life. Something is wrong.”

Leon shook his head. He inhaled deeply. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He said on the exhale. Arthur considered him for a moment. Considered what Leon had said, and what he himself had said.

Instead of answering, Arthur guided Leon out of the room, catching Merlin’s questioning look and shaking his head. He guided Leon down the winding corridors and down the thin passage leading to Arthur’s chambers. He pulled Leon inside.

“Arthur, what-”

“Merlin and I aren’t together.” Arthur blurted. Leon’s jaw dropped. “We aren’t together and I said that we were getting married so Ana wouldn’t find me another spouse and now we are getting married in eleven days and there is nothing I can do about it.”

Leon put a hand on his chin, physically shutting his mouth. Leon stayed silent.

“Well?” Arthur said. “Say something.”

“You aren’t with Merlin.” Leon said. Arthur rolled his eyes. Of course that was what he took from it. Leon continued. “You’re not with Merlin. But you wish you were.”

Arthur choked on thin air, looking at Leon with wide eyes. And then he realized the reason that he and Leon were so close. The reason that he had made Leon his right hand in battle. His first knight. It was because they understood each other. They could read each other.

Arthur knew when there was something wrong with Leon the same as Leon did with Arthur. And at that moment Leon could read Arthur like he was an open book. Read him with an alarmingly loud voice, Arthur noted, urging him to quiet down.

“I can’t believe I’ve never noticed!” Leon whisper shouted. “It all makes sense to me now! You’re completely smitten aren’t you?”

Arthur sighed and looked down to his feet. “How did you know?” He asked.

Leon laughed, then. Sharp and loud. “How did I not know?” He said, paused, and looked Arthur in the eye. “Does Merlin know?”

Arthur shook his head. “Of course he doesn’t.” He said quietly.

Leon’s snort was humorless. “He deserves to.”

“I know.”

“So tell him!”

“I can’t!”

Their voices got progressively louder until eventually they were shouting. Leon looked manic as he rubbed a hand through his hair.

“You have to!” Leon persisted. “You’re to be married in barely two weeks. You must tell him!”

“I know.” Arthur said, bringing his tone back down to a quiet murmur. “I know but I can’t.”

“And why can’t you.” Leon pushed. “Arthur for as long as I have known you, you have never been afraid of anything. Not out in battle and certainly not with this. So what is it? Why can’t you tell him?”

“Because I cannot bear to see him leave me.” Arthur said. And his voice was raw with emotion. Sadness and hopelessness.

Leon was silent as Arthur took a seat on the end of the bed, leaning against the wooden post next to him. He considered his words before he spoke.

“I believe there would be no chance that he would leave. Thinking about it now, the way he looks at you, there is nothing in the world that could tear you apart. Merlin would follow you to the ends of the earth, do you know that?”

Arthur nodded. Leon continued:

“He loves you. He has to or he would not put up with half of the things he does. You have to understand that he won’t leave you, no matter what.” Leon sighed. “Do you trust Merlin?”

“With my life.” Arthur said instantly.

“Then trust that he won’t leave you.”

***

The great hall was filled with laughter and chatter and the heady scent of spilled wine – thanks to Gwaine. Merlin had heard the word _Congratulations_ so many times in ten minutes that he thought his head was about to explode. At least seven of those were from Gwaine.

Luckily Percival seemed to have Gwaine subdued in one corner of the room with a gentle hand on the back of his neck to him from causing any more chaos.

Arthur and Leon had left the hall almost as soon as the knights had piled in and Merlin had no idea where they had gone.

Sir Kay was standing next to him in silence. His hand kept twitching and his head tilting towards Merlin as though he wanted to say something but choosing not to at the last moment.

Merlin was well acquainted with all of the knights and though he was more comfortable around Gwaine, Lance and Leon than he was any other member of the group, he was friendly with all of them.

Leon, he was close to through Arthur. On many occasion, where Leon was, Merlin was sure to find Arthur. Whether they be talking about battle plans or gambling in the tavern. The tavern was also the most likely place to find Gwaine chatting up some poor maiden surrounded by five or six empty mugs of Camelot’s finest ale.

Lance. Well Lance was sure to be nearby Gwen. He had loved Gwen since they first laid eyes upon each other. If Merlin needed Lance, he was sure to be where Gwen was.

Merlin talking to Lance a lot more than he did any of the other knights. Lance knew about Merlin’s magic and all this time he had kept it secret. Merlin was thankful for that. For Lance. He needed somebody to talk to that wasn’t Gaius. Somebody that didn’t really understand, but who accepted.

Merlin wished that it could be Arthur. And maybe one day, he would tell Arthur of himself. Of his magic. And hopefully, Arthur would accept him. He needed Arthur to accept him.

He caught Lance stood talking to Elyan. They were most probably talking about Gwen. Knowing Lance that’s exactly what he would be doing. Lamorak, Gareth, Geraint and Galahad were bugging a flustered servant for alcohol while Owaine side stepped them to talk to Gwaine and Percival.

Merlin nudged Kay with his elbow. “What is it?” Merlin asked.

Kay blinked at Merlin, mouth opening and shutting a few times before he finally said anything. “When.” He said. “I mean, when did you and Arthur get together?”

Merlin’s frowned, his eyebrows drawing together until he realised what Kay was getting at. “Less than a year.” He informed him and Kay visibly relaxed.

“Okay. I was just checking, because Arthur was with Guinevere around 18 months ago and I wouldn’t- “

“I would never have done that to Guinevere.” Merlin said. Kay nodded once and excused himself. Merlin chuckled to himself as Kay quite obviously made his way over to Elyan to give him the news. He saw Elyan smile and nod, throwing his head back in laughter at something Kay said a second later.

Arthur and Leon burst through the door minutes later, an entire catering team in tow. Wine, ale and beer was distributed around the knights and platters of food were laid on any available flat surface.

Arthur looked deep in thought and Leon looked half way between worried and smug. Merlin didn’t know what they had talked about and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know in the first place.

Gwaine being Gwaine was the first one to dive at the servants carrying the alcohol, ignoring Percival warning him not to drink too much. He was two pints down before he even touched the bite sized food on the platter next to him.

Arthur came up behind Merlin, his breath hot on Merlin’s neck. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut. A shiver ran down his spine. And suddenly everyone was looking at them.

Arthur’s arm slid around Merlin’s waist and it felt as if the entire room had held their breath. Watching wide eyed at the show going on in front of them. Merlin cautiously leaned back into Arthur, letting out a sigh at the heat radiating off of Arthur’s body. He hadn’t realised how cold he was.

Arthur brought his mouth to Merlin’s ear and whispered, “I have something to tell you. Later.”

Merlin swallowed loudly and hummed in acknowledgement. Gwaine’s wolf whistle startled everyone and the chatter and laughter started up again.

When Arthur stepped away, Merlin almost fell backwards. Arthur caught him and steadied him, accepting a mug of beer from Gwaine.

“Congratu-”

“Gwaine if you say that word one more time.” Merlin growled. Arthur put a warning hand on the back of Merlin’s neck. Merlin tensed.

“Thank you, Gwaine.” Arthur said. Merlin saw Leon smirk behind Gwaine and wondered what they had been talking about.

“What did Leon want?” Merlin asked. Merlin grunted and tried to pull away when Arthur’s hand tightened around the back of his neck.

Gwaine opened his mouth to protest. “Is it any of your business?” Arthur asked sweetly. Merlin shook his head as much as he could in Arthur’s grip.

Arthur shot a warning look in Gwaine’s direction and Gwaine scurried off to find Percival.

“So don’t make it your business.” He said. He loosened his grip and brushed his thumb down the length of Merlin’s neck. Merlin saw Percival thump Gwaine on the head. He struggled to hold back his laugh at Gwaine’s scowl as he moved on to find somebody that would actually listen to him.

Percival followed after him apologising and promising that he would listen this time. Merlin looked around the room, and although most of the knights had turned back to their conversations, a number of them were still watching.

Arthur slid his hand around the front of Merlin’s throat and pulled him backwards to lean against Arthur’s body. His hand was a gentle pressure resting on Merlin’s throat. It seemed as much as a warning as it was a comfort.

Merlin leaned back against Arthur, trying not to put too much of his weight on him. He didn’t know what to do with his hands so he left them fall to his side.

Arthur offered him his mug, half a pint of beer swilling around inside of it. Merlin took it gratefully, gulping a few swigs to quench his thirst.

He gave it back with a quiet, “thank you” and let his arm flop back to his side. Arthur was confusing, Merlin decided. He never knew whether he was coming or going, whether they were acting or they weren’t. Merlin still could not get used to being on the same level as Arthur and he doesn’t think he ever will. Not that he supposes he would have to.

Merlin knows that this is fake. All of it. But he doesn’t want it to be fake. And he’s sick of hiding it, if he’s honest with himself. He leaned further into Arthur, his body heat warming Merlin’s body from the cold seeping into the large room through the small windows.

Arthur sighed. His hand never left Merlin’s throat, fingers brushing his collarbones gently. It was a sweet, unconscious gesture and it made Merlin’s heart flutter.

“Arthur?” Merlin said, “what did you need to tell me?”

“Later.” Arthur answered with finality.

***

It was later. And then it was later than that. And then Arthur was busy so later became later than that. And Merlin was getting the idea that Arthur didn’t want to tell him. He wasn’t going to let Arthur get away with it much longer. Whatever Arthur had wanted to tell him seemed important and if the looks Leon gave him every time the two saw each other was anything to go by, it was important.

Merlin didn’t know whether to be offended that Leon had found out before he had or not. On the one hand Leon was Arthur’s best friend. His right hand man. His go to. So Merlin should not be surprised that Arthur would have told him first. On the other hand, Arthur had told Merlin that he wanted to tell him whatever he had told Leon, but he kept putting it off every time they had a quiet moment.

And every time they did have a quiet moment, one of the knights would come to the dorm for one reason or another. Merlin swore to the Gods that if Gwaine stopped by to congratulate them or to ‘see what they were up to’ one more time he would use the power within him, damn the consequences.

At that current moment Percival was talking to Arthur about strategies, running through maps and just having a chat. Merlin had sighed loudly around five times already, bored out of his mind.

The thing is, Merlin doesn’t think he would be bothered that Arthur was avoiding him, which he was. After the knights had rushed into the room and ate the castle out of entrees Arthur had ignored Merlin altogether. The thing that bothered him, though, was that Arthur wouldn’t let him go anywhere.

If Arthur would let leave the bloody room, he may not be quite as bored. But Arthur wanted to tell him something. Because of that Merlin had to stay. Every time he stood Arthur sent a warning glare his way which had him sinking back down onto the bed.

He’d sat at the end, sat at the side, lied down on his back, front, sideways, legs on the wall, feet on the bedpost. It had been hours and later seemed to be turning into never at this point.

When Percival left Merlin shot up from his position seeing if he could contort his body into a pretzel shape. He was happy to find that he could.

He waited patiently on the end of the bed. He waited. And waited. And waited. He sighed. He sighed again. Nothing. He coughed to get Arthur’s attention once, twice, three times. “Arthur.” He said loudly, because subtlety was not Arthur’s strong point.

“What is it Merlin?” Arthur sighed.

“Ah, now I have your attention. What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

Arthur hesitated. He dropped his pencil. He looked up and at the wall in front of him. “I-”

Arthur was interrupted by the sharp knocking on the door. Merlin groaned in frustration, throwing himself backwards on the bed, bouncing slightly from the force. Arthur at least looked regretful.

Arthur opened the door. Merlin could neither see nor hear who it was on the other side. He played with the bandage on his arm instead. It was feeling better and when he wriggled his fingers there was no pain. So he took it off altogether, unwrapping the layers quickly. Only his arm wasn’t healed fully if his cry of pain was anything to go by.

Arthur was by his side in an instant, knelt on the ground with a firm hand wrapped around his arm.

“Merlin.” He growled. The person Arthur had been talking to at the door could be partially seen. Merlin recognised her as one of the cooks. “What did you do that for?”

“I didn’t- I- Arthur I’m sorry.” Merlin stuttered, one eye on the girl at the door. He was playing it up, he knew he was, but for the most part what he said was real panic.

Arthur snatched the bandage from the bed and started wrapping Merlin’s arm back up in tight loops. “Arthur…” Merlin said, eyes flicking from Arthur to the girl and back waiting for Arthur to look at him. Arthur looked up from his work. “Are you angry?” Merlin used the smallest voice he could muster. In his peripheral he saw the girl edging further into the room.

Arthur paused and then continued wrapping Merlin’s arm. When he had done the girl was nearly the full way into the room. He took Merlin’s injured hand in his and pressed his lips to the knuckles softly. “No, I’m not angry.” He said.

The girl lifted her hands to her heart, a quiet _aww_ slipping out as she watched them.

Arthur breathed a laugh. “Don’t do it again.” He said sternly and stood up. He walked over to the girl. “Matilda, we shall arrange a meeting with the head chef as soon as possible.” The girl- Matilda- nodded and left the room quickly.

The door shut. Finally, they were alone.

“Merlin.” Arthur said quietly. It was hesitant, almost questioning, as if he wasn’t sure of what to say. Merlin sat forwards on the bed, leaning closer to Arthur.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

***

“I just don’t believe they are together, never mind getting married.” Gwaine said. Percival rolled his eyes. “Oh so you aren’t going to believe me right now but when have my instincts ever been wrong?”

Percival shrugged. He looked at Gwaine. “What about that time that your _instincts_ told you to drink an entire barrel of ale in half an hour.”

“Okay, one time. And that was my wellbeing. I’m never wrong about things like this and you know it.”

Percival nodded this time. He glanced at Gwaine over his shoulder. He was sprawled on the bed lied on one side, head resting on one hand. “What? This not doing anything for you?” Gwaine asked.

“I won’t do anything for you ever again if you don’t help me open this box.” Percival replied, motioning to the trunk he had been trying to get into for at least ten minutes.

Sighing loudly, Gwaine rolled off the bed, landing on the carpeted floor with a dull thud. “For- move.” He flipped open the case in one swift movement. Percival stared at him and shook his head. “There.” Gwaine said.

“I’ve been- never mind.”

Gwaine flopped back down on the bed. “There’s too much that doesn’t add up. I mean, just think about it. Back in Camelot Arthur treated Merlin like any other servant. Did you notice any signs of them being together? Of Merlin being a _prince_?” Gwaine asked. At Percival’s shake of the head he continued. “No, exactly. Merlin were still running around after him, getting his dinner and drawing his baths. I never saw Lady Guinevere doing any of that when they were together. Always Merlin. And that’s only changed now we’re here.”

“Do you not think maybe they carried on because they didn’t want anyone to know, less so, you of all people.” Percival asked, quirking an eyebrow as he sat down next to Gwaine on the bed. “Besides, it’s not as though you tell Arthur everything about your life. Or any of the knights for that matter, though I am pretty sure Lance has his suspicions.”

Gwaine deflated, releasing a long breath. “This is different.” He said finally. He didn’t want to argue with Percival, especially when he was talking so much sense. It was true. Gwaine did not expect Arthur to tell him of everything that happened in his life, the same way Arthur did not expect to know all of Gwaine’s secrets; though one of the reasons for that is Gwaine has too many secrets to count.

“I do not see how this is any different to you and I, Gwaine.” Percival insisted. Gwaine pushed himself into a sitting position and nudged Percival with his shoulder.

“It is very different than me and you.” He said, though he sounded resigned.

“You’re right.” Leon said, bursting into the room. “It is different.”

Gwaine and Percival shot to separate side of the bed. It rocked under the force.

“You’ve got to be joking me.” Percival said at the same time Gwaine said “How long were you listening?”

“Long enough.” Leon answered. He pulled out a chair at the table and sat down. “Arthur and Merlin are not together. You were right, Gwaine.”

Gwaine jumped up and pointed a finger in Percival’s face. “Ha!” He exclaimed. “I told you. We should have bet on it.”

Percival went to swat his hand out of the way, grabbing his finger and pulling his hand down away from his face.

Leon smirked at them, watching the scene in front of him. “How long have you- never mind.”

“Too long.” Percival answered anyway.

Gwaine opened his mouth to protest but Leon cut him off. “They are not together.” Leon repeated. “But Arthur wants them to be.”

“And he has told you this?” Percival asked, “that they are not together? And that he wants them to be?”

Leon nodded. He stared at the dark wood of the table. “He swore he would tell Merlin. Today. Arthur is a man of his word, however, I do not know whether he will keep it.” Leon paused.

Gwaine turned to look at him and it was only then that Leon noticed Percival hadn’t released Gwaine’s hand. “Merlin deserves to know.” Gwaine said firmly. “And if Arthur does not tell him, I will.”

Percival spun Gwaine back around and tugged him closer. “You will do no such thing.” He warned. Gwaine huffed and sat down on the bed next to him.

“He will.” Leon said with a nod. “I’m sure of it.”

“And what if he doesn’t?” Gwaine grumbled.

Percival put a hand over Gwaine’s where it was rested on the bed. “He will.”

“Anyway,” Leon started, “when did this happen?” He asked, gesturing between the two of them.

***

“I have been meaning to tell you for a while, but there has never seemed to be a right time. With Guinevere and I together I thought it would change things. I thought that maybe it was wrong. That I didn’t know what I was feeling. But now, well, Guinevere and I are no longer, as you know. With the upcoming marriage I thought now would be a better time to tell you than any.

The point, Merlin, is that I can no longer hide the way I feel. Leon brought this to my attention earlier today and I believe that he is right when he says that I should tell you. That you have the right to know.”

Arthur sighed. “This was not the way I wished to do this. I had a plan.” Arthur smiled wistfully. “I’ve had a plan for a long time. There was going to be flowers. A feast. The plan I had was huge, with event upon event. Everything you deserve, Merlin. If I’d have known of Ana’s policy, we never would have come but plans change. And my plan has changed Merlin.

In fact, I no longer have a plan and I hate that I don’t. I- Wait. Actually.” Arthur moved to the window and looked out and up. When he was satisfied he looked around the landscape. He nodded to himself.

“Get your cloak.” He ordered. Merlin jumped off the bed and grabbed his cloak from where he had left it on the back of the chair.

He joined Arthur at the door. “Where are we going?” Merlin asked. Arthur shook his head and pushed out of the door, grabbing Merlin’s uninjured wrist and pulling him out behind him. They left the castle quick enough, rushing across the courtyard to the stable. The sun was setting slowly, the birds still chirping loudly in the surrounding trees.

Arthur and Merlin prepared their horses hurriedly. Arthur helped Merlin strap on the saddle when Merlin couldn’t do it with one hand, his other held close to his body.

Arthur strapped a rolled up blanket to his horse before helping Merlin into his. Together they rode out of the courtyard and into the trees surrounding. Arthur head west towards the setting sun, racing through the trees while simultaneously watching that Merlin was following him.

The got to the edge of the trees and Arthur led them up a small hill. A large oak tree twisted at the top, its leaved glowing orange in the last dregs of sunlight sinking below the hill. They dismounted their horses and tied the reigns around the trunk of the tree.

By the time Merlin had successfully secured his horse, Arthur had set the blanket on the ground under the tree. He sat when Merlin did so that they were face to face, Merlin leaning back against the tree.

“Why are we here?” Merlin asked, pulling the cloak tighter around his body.

“I told you I had a plan and that was ruined.” Arthur replied. Merlin nodded, prompting him to continue. “This is my new plan.”

Arthur closed his eyes, preparing himself before he opened them. Merlin was watching him with a confused frown on his lips.

“I wanted to shower you in gifts and I wanted to give you the best time of your life and I hope I still can. I had planned to tell you after we returned from Amata. Trust me, the entire palace was preparing for it before we left.

But my plans have changed and now this is how it’s going to go.” Arthur took a deep breath before he began.

“Merlin, since the day I met you, you have always been a wonder to me.” Merlin made an indignant sound and swatted at Arthur. “From when you first spoke to me to this very moment I have wanted to tell you this. When Guinevere came along I took the chance and ran with it, not because I wanted you or because my feelings towards you were any less, but because I thought the chances I had of you reciprocating my feelings were so slim I never even tried.

But now. Now I have to tell you. And it has to be soon. Before the wedding. If not because I promised Leon, but because I promised myself and because you deserve to know.”

“Arthur, I-”

“Merlin.” Arthur said. He took both of Merlin’s hands in his own. “I need to say this. Please.”

Merlin nodded silently.

“When me and Guinevere split I thought then would be the time but I never had the chance. It was either something to do with the kingdom or threats on my life, or both. And that stuff, it gets in the way. I would have told you sooner, in fact, I wish I had, but now is my chance and I am going to take it.

Merlin, I want to share it with you. Everything. My life, my kingdom. I want it to be yours. I want you to rule beside me as my equal. I want you to deal with things with me, to be around when I need you, the _way_ I need you to be there.” Arthur took a steadying breath and looked Merlin in the eye. “What I want does not matter to me. I need to know what _you_ want.”

Merlin gaped at him, mouth hanging open in shock. Arthur stood from the blanket and brushed himself off.

“You will have time to think about it of course.” He said as he untied the horse from the tree. “Sleep on it.” Arthur climbed onto his horse, the animal dancing around a bit as he prepared for the ride back to the castle.

Merlin jumped up from the blanket and stepped towards Arthur, but Arthur was already going. “Arthur!” He shouted, the noise echoing through the woods. Arthur did not stop. And Merlin watched him go until he could no longer see him. Then, he slumped against the oak tree, Arthur’s words still ringing in his mind.

He run his good hand over his face. He had just heard Arthur pour his heart out, heard everything he had ever wanted to hear since the day they had met and he said nothing. He knew he should have said something, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to say.

Of course he wanted it. Everything Arthur had said, he wanted. He was just speechless. For one, Arthur had said what he had- had been planning to do it for a long time- and not only that, he had thought that Merlin would not want him back.

He sighed and drew his thoughts together. He rolled up the blanket and strapped it to his horse. He untied his horse from the tree and pulled himself on awkwardly. His arm had started it irritate him, throbbing annoyingly in its bandage. He held it close to his body, gritting his teeth against the pain.

He followed the trail they had taken to get to the oak tree, only losing his direction once before he righted himself. By the time he had returned to the castle there was no one around, bar a few knights that stood on their posts for the night.

He put his horse in the stable next to Arthur’s, struggling to get the saddle off, though he managed it in the end, and returned to his chambers. When he arrived he was annoyed to see that Arthur was not there. He had been working on a speech all the way back from the hill and now Arthur wasn’t there for him to tell it to.

He grumbled in annoyance. Arthur had dragged him all the way out there just to leave him behind and now he didn’t even have the decency to be there when he got back. “Prat.” Merlin mumbled, ridding himself of his cloak and changing from his clothes. He shuffled tiredly into his side of the bed, his eyes fluttering shut the instant his head touched the pillow. He resolutely tried to ignore the insistent throbbing in his arm.

***

When Merlin woke Arthur was not there. It didn’t seem as though he had returned to the chambers, other than the telltale sign of the clothes Arthur had been wearing in a messy pile in one corner of the room.

Merlin slumped in disappointment and waiting a moment before rolling out of bed to get ready for the day. He washed, dressed, ate. The he left the chambers, swearing to himself that he was not looking for Arthur and that he would let Arthur come to him when he was ready.

He couldn’t help feeling angry. Angry that Arthur left him on the hill. Angry that he was now _avoiding_ him when he didn’t even know what Merlin had to say.

Yes, he had frozen like a deer in headlights. And maybe his mind hadn’t made sense of it all until Arthur had gone. From Arthur’s perspective it may have looked like Merlin didn’t want any of what Arthur had said.

But he was wrong and he didn’t even hang around to listen to what Merlin had to say. And that angered him more than anything.

He didn’t see Arthur on his trip through the castle and after his second lap of the courtyard he took a detour to the sprawling meadows to the side of the castle. The green was dotted with daisies, their white petals standing out against the vivid colour of the grass.

He ended up sat cross-legged in the middle of the field, a long string of daisies circling him from where he had linked them together. When all the daisies around him had gone his shoulders slumped and he flopped onto the floor, closing his eyes against the glare of the sun.

When he woke it was with something prodding him painfully in the arm. He grunted and rolled away from the whatever it was, snuggling further into… grass?

Merlin shot up from his position, clambering to his feet. He swayed dizzyingly before getting steadied. His eyes focused enough to take in who it was and he was surprised to see Arthur standing in front of him. And then he was angry. Again.

He shrugged Arthur’s hand off his shoulder and took a step back. He frowned at Arthur and crossed his arms across his chest.

Arthur looked hurt for a brief second. He mimicked Merlin’s stance.

“Where were you?” Merlin asked, letting the anger he felt seep into his voice.

Arthur shrugged, brushing off the question. “Where were _you_?” He asked instead of answering.

“Here.” Merlin bit out, “you were avoiding me, where were you?” he repeated. Arthur sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“I knew I should have sent Gwaine to get you.” He grumbled quietly. Merlin huffed an unamused laugh. He rolled his eyes, turned and started towards the cast.

He carried on walking even when Arthur called his name, when he hurried after him. He wrenched his arm out of Arthur’s grip and carried on walking.

“Don’t walk away from me.” Arthur growled, annoyed. Merlin ignored him and carried on. He was at the edge of the field when Arthur caught up to him, forcing him to turn around as he shoved him bodily against the stone wall that surrounded the courtyard.

No sooner had his back hit the wall was it that Merlin was pushing off, an animalistic sound ripping from his throat at he swung at Arthur. Arthur dodged the punch easily, catching his fist and twisting his arm painfully behind his back.

“I know you’re upset; I know you’re angry.” Arthur said quietly, hardly heard over Merlin harsh breathing and the pounding of his heart. “Calm down.” Arthur released his arm and Merlin stalked away from him, fists clenched at his sides.

Merlin rested his palms against the wall, his head hanging down as he caught his breath. The silence stretched for a long time, the clouds moving across the sky, efficiently covering the sun and shrouding the kingdom in grey light.

Merlin finally spoke, moving his position just enough that he could see where about Arthur was. “You know,” He started, “most people that confess their love hang around to find out the answer. Not you. Not Arthur bloody Pendragon. If you had any amount of sense in you, that’s what you would have done.”

“Merlin.” Arthur tried but Merlin cut him off, continuing as though Arthur had never said anything.

“But considering you don’t have one ounce of sense you run away. And then you weren’t at the chambers. And then you weren’t anywhere. At all. Honestly anyone would think you were _avoiding_ me.” Merlin shook his head. “And then you tell _me_ to calm down when you didn’t even have the common curtesy of a ‘hello’ in the bloody morning. I mean, could you _be_ any more stupid?”

Merlin turned around to look at Arthur and saw him laughing silently behind his hand while trying to hide his amusement. Merlin growled, frustrated, and with a huffed ‘fine’ he turned around and walked away. 

“Merlin!” Arthur called after him, still snickering as he caught up to him so they were walking side by side. “Merlin, I’m sorry. Carry on.”

Merlin ignored him. They reached the castle gates before Arthur spoke again. “I truly am sorry.” He said, seriously. Merlin nodded but said nothing until their chamber doors were closed behind them.

He cleared his throat and started, “if we take things slow- “

Arthur snorted, crossing his arms across his chest. “I think it may be a bit late for ‘taking things slow’.”

“then maybe,” He continued, as though Arthur had never spoke, “maybe we can work this out.”

“Merlin we’re getting married.”

Merlin laughed, then, loud and humorless, echoing through the room. “Oh I know we are. You really don’t need to remind me.”

Arthur shook his head, “you don’t understand, Merlin, I want to marry you. I want to be with you, please, just… just let me give it a shot.” He stepped closer, placing a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and pulling him closer.

Merlin placed his hands on Arthurs chest, pushing him back a little. He shook his head. “You don’t get to decide what happens. You left, I decide.”

Arthur opened his mouth to protest, snapping it shut at the look Merlin gave him.

“Yes, Okay. You call the shots.”

Merlin nodded. “Okay.” He sighed. "I want strawberries.”

He grabbed Arthur’s hand and dragged him towards the door. “What are you doing?” Arthur asked.

Merlin blinked at him. “Getting strawberries?”

“And you need me because…?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “You’re paying.” He said, “what you thought I was going to pay? On how much you pay me? Which is nothing, may I add.” He continued, pulling Arthur out of the room with a grin plastered on his face.

***

Arthur bought Merlin strawberries. And blueberries. And grapes. And a new scarf. And honestly if he wasn’t marrying this boy he would have him in the stocks. But the thing is, Arthur didn’t really mind buying Merlin those things. He would buy him the world if he could.

He just liked seeing Merlin happy more than anything. And when they got back to their chambers after hours of shopping at the markets and chatting with the sellers and the villagers, Arthur knew it was worth it.

When the fruits had been demolished and Merlin was laughing loudly at one of Arthur’s terrible jokes Arthur realised that this is what he has been waiting for. Something that has been right in front of him for years. Some may say it’s fate, that they were to share their first kiss, soft and slow in front of the window in their chambers. That they would look up to the stars above and later roll into bed giggling and kissing and touching.

There was a new buzz in the air. One of excitement and happiness. Of the upcoming wedding, their new found relationship. And Merlin could swear, as he drifted to sleep, his head on Arthurs chest, one arm slung over his waist, that he heard the whisper of the Dragon.

“ _Destiny._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> I owe a massive thank you to Ezra for giving me the idea for this fic in the first place.  
> Feel free to comment anything and find me arthurpcndragcn.tumblr.com if you have any questions regarding this fic or anything else!


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